I still have moments when I get stressed, upset, feel lonely, and express anger but they only last for so long now. Instead of in mostly sorrow and depression with only moments of happiness I am now in reverse. I am healing form much of my life's turmoil. Many of you don't understand the battle I had over the years. Some of you may think "oh she hasn't had a bad life". Especially those who know me for most of it. I will tell you, you have no clue what went behind close doors or the playground cruelty that I still battle with today. I will leave it at that. For I no longer want to focus on that I want to focus on all the glory God gives!
Yes I will still have negative moments and negative thoughts. I mean gezz we do live in a fallen world. But I don't have to cling on to them!. I have learned to be in a general state of contentment. No it isn't because I am married (I still feel lonely at times), it isn't because I financially stable (I live with the constant reminder I could lose my job at any moment), and it isn't because I have a cat. It is because I learned a lot about me and still am. I am trying to build a relationship with God like I have never known. The last 2 years have been life changing but not in extreme way. I am experiencing a gentle subtle touch from Jesus not an emotional high moment found from some church alter call, retreat or revival. While they have there place once but when I left those venues I ended up still battling in my private corners of my mind. If I wasn't constantly going to one of those broken and needing "the holy spirit to fill me" I'd be right back were I was. I am not even sure what clicked but things are changing. Changing in the quite, serenity I never knew. I never understood, as all I knew was dramatic highs and lows. I didn't think calm or stillness was that great. I thought it was boring. Oh how wrong I was!
I am learning how wonderful the sweet calm blissfulness of the early morning. The sweet calm of a night time wind crashing the waves on the shore. The enjoyment of just "being" in his presences.
So with that I say AMEN AMEN GLORY TO GOD MOST HIGH!!
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Current Residence: Milwaukee/Chicago area
Favorite genre of music: Dance
Favorite photographer: None
Favorite style of art: Fantasy/Animals/Photo Manipulation
Operating System: Windows 7
Personal Quote: I am in my own little world but that's Ok they all know me there