The Drow's Tale, part 2The Drow's Tale, part 2 by Gold-Seven
... continued from http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/15391732/
They let me go again.
On the way back, a dozen thoughts whirled in my mind. First and foremost of them was that Alak was dead. With Sinafay's help, I could try and put in my bid for power, for command of our camp. With a priestess behind me, nobody would dare to oppose me.
I thought of the two humans. My drow perception of the world insisted they were stupid beings, having let me go twice, on nothing else but my word that I would not harm them, or that I would return and bring help. Stupidity meant that my word was not binding.
But then I thought of Tal, who had been very cautious where I was concerned, and had not seemed stupid in the least. I thought of the power I had felt in the old man, and power was never stupid. I thought of his smiles, of the way he had treated me, guardedly, but always benignly.
I would assume power of the camp, and I would find a way to bring Sinafay out to the druid, to see I she could heal h
I still have moments when I get stressed, upset, feel lonely, and express anger but they only last for so long now. Instead of in mostly sorrow and depression with only moments of happiness I am now in reverse. I am healing form much of my life's turmoil. Many of you don't understand the battle I had over the years. Some of you may think "oh she hasn't had a bad life". Especially those who know me for most of it. I will tell you, you have no clue what went behind close doors or the playground cruelty that I still battle with today. I will leave it at that. For I no longer want to focus on that I want to focus on all the glory God gives!
Yes I will still have negative moments and negative thoughts. I mean gezz we do live in a fallen world. But I don't have to cling on to them!. I have learned to be in a general state of contentment. No it isn't because I am married (I still feel lonely at times), it isn't because I financially stable (I live with the constant reminder I could lose my job at any moment), and it isn't because I have a cat. It is because I learned a lot about me and still am. I am trying to build a relationship with God like I have never known. The last 2 years have been life changing but not in extreme way. I am experiencing a gentle subtle touch from Jesus not an emotional high moment found from some church alter call, retreat or revival. While they have there place once but when I left those venues I ended up still battling in my private corners of my mind. If I wasn't constantly going to one of those broken and needing "the holy spirit to fill me" I'd be right back were I was. I am not even sure what clicked but things are changing. Changing in the quite, serenity I never knew. I never understood, as all I knew was dramatic highs and lows. I didn't think calm or stillness was that great. I thought it was boring. Oh how wrong I was!
I am learning how wonderful the sweet calm blissfulness of the early morning. The sweet calm of a night time wind crashing the waves on the shore. The enjoyment of just "being" in his presences.
So with that I say AMEN AMEN GLORY TO GOD MOST HIGH!!
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